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Relationship status: It's complicated

Updated: Nov 28, 2022

Have you ever felt the pressure to 'love yourself' because 'if you can't love yourself, how can you expect others to love you'?

Relationship Therapy

Have you ever told someone that if they loved themselves enough, their problems would go away? Have you ever truly tried loving yourself? Because if you have, you'd know it isn't all roses and butterflies. While 'self-love' is important, and as a therapist, it makes me overjoyed to hear people (and brands) normalizing this essential aspect of restoring and maintaining mental health, it also puts into perspective, what 'loving yourself' actually means. 'Loving yourself' is not a prerequisite to being happy. It is not a condition on which others love and respect you. Loving yourself is not the only proof of a healthy relationship with yourself and others. Loving yourself is not an excuse, or a reason to shame yourself or others. Here's what you can aspire to do when 'loving yourself' gets too complicated: You can try to understand yourself.

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